Columbia's Disingenuous Response to Banning the Band from Playing at Sporting Events

The University's official canned response to angry alumni concerning the decision to ban the Columbia University Marching Band from performing at sporting events is below, along with appropriate commentary.


From Peter Piling, Athletic Director


{insert name of alumnus}

Thank you for writing and for giving me the opportunity to clarify some of the information that has emerged in reports about the Columbia University Marching Band (“CUMB”) and its relationship with Columbia Athletics. Specifically, the determination that, as presently organized, the CUMB will not perform at athletics events in 2019-20. [Clarify here means putting President Bollinger's spin on the ugly truth.]

We recognize that the news this week regarding the band is disappointing to some alumni, including many former CUMB members. But we want to make sure that everyone understands the current situation in full. [Oh, we understand the situation.  The assault on the Band is President Bollinger's personal crusade to silence speech he finds inconvenient and annoying.]

The athletics program has always been straightforward with band leadership about the relationship of the band to Columbia Athletics.  Traditionally, the CUMB has been granted access and admission to our contests. However, since the band is no longer recognized by the College and is not recognized by a student government activity board at present, the athletics program cannot allow the band access to our events. [This is complete horse manure.  For at least the past five decades, the CUMB was not "recognized by a student government activity board."  The Band's funding came from other sources, which is the only reason any organization on campus is "registered" with the administrative body that governs and hands out funds to student clubs and organizations.  When President Bollinger pulled the Band's funding as punishment for pushing back against his decision to try to kill Orgo Night, the Band was not kicked out of any "student government activity board;" they had not been a part of one.  Thus, the Athletic Department for decades provided funding to the Band and allowed the Band to perform when they were not an "official" student activity.  Therefore, the current decision to prohibit the Band from performing at athletic events has nothing to do with any change in the Band's status as a "recognized" student group.  It has only to do with the fact that President Bollinger has decreed that the Band should be suppressed.] We support our colleagues across campus in the decision to insist upon the band’s compliance with the rules governing student groups as a condition of continued affiliation with the University. [See above -- this is disingenuous obfuscation.  The "colleagues across campus" reference is to Low Library.  The AD does what the President says.  We understand that.  The AD has no power to stand up to Low Library, and cannot even object when President Bollinger makes him the errand boy for responding to angry alumni with a canned load of excrement that was clearly written by the office of the President.]

The decision to move forward this year with alternate performance options stemmed directly from the prevailing uncertainty regarding CUMB’s future, and our need to prepare in advance of the current football season. [There was no uncertainty.  President Bollinger orchestrated and planned this all along.  If the University wanted to have a marching band at football games, then there would be a band.  Here, the University wants to silence the Band, and so the Band has been silenced.]  We have confirmed arrangements for a number of alternate musical entertainment organizations for this season. [Good luck with that.  You can teach the Mahwah High School marching band to play Roar, Lion, Roar!, but you will miss having the band in the stands revving up the sparse football crowd and providing enthusiasm all the way to the last play regardless of the final score.]

As Columbia Football—and the athletics program, in general—continues to achieve success on the field of play, our athletics leadership believes that there is a tremendous opportunity to redefine the musical programs provided to support and enhance our events. [When the women's basketball team plays a 4:00 start on a Saturday afternoon and the Band is not there providing music and cheers, you can explain to the players' parents and friends who come to watch that the Athletic Department doesn't have funding to hire alternate musical talent to show up for a women's game.  Tell them to come back for the men's game, when the hired horns will be there.] We look forward to continuing to address this issue to meet the needs of our athletes, our fans, and the entire university community. [There is an easy way -- reinstate the Band.  You won't do that, because President Bollinger has decreed it, but "addressing the issue" is so obviously doublespeak here for "President Bollinger has decided that the Band must be silenced, and we just hope that our alumni will forget about this ugly incident and won't stop making contributions to the school."  The answer to both those hopes is -- there is a better chance that ice molecules will take a solid crystalline form in the realm of Persephone.]

Sincerely, 

Peter Pilling [a/k/a Prezbo's Lackey]

Murder on Morningside Heights

Premeditated murder.  Contemplated, planned, and executed in a cold, calculated thrust of a knife into the heart of the victim.  Three years ago, President Lee Bollinger and Dean James Valentini decided that the Columbia University Marching Band was an annoyance that needed to be snuffed out.  They were disrespectful toward the university administration.  They were insubordinate, they refused to let Bollinger pre-approve the content of their routines, and their humor was sometimes vulgar.  Worst of all was their semi-annual "Orgo Night" program, which embodied all these characteristics, and which often produced complaints from students who were offended by some of the jokes.  The band was not disciplined, did not comport themselves with the appropriate honor and dignity, and was not something that Bollinger and Valentini could brag about to their Ivy League colleagues.  The CUMB was a tradition loved and laughed at by generations of Columbians, but it was not one that the administrators wanted perpetuated.

Step one was to kill Orgo Night, which Bollinger and Valentini did in the winter of 2016, as chronicled in the virtual pages of this blog. Ban the band from their signature performance, and deprive the students of the bonding experience of Orgo Night, and slowly start to drain the life blood from the victim.

Step two was to come down hard on the Band's leaders when the group predictably ignored the order that they were banned from the library, threatening them with disciplinary action and sending the clear message to underclassmen in the Band that there would be long-term negative consequences to continued failure to fall into line.

Step three was to take away funding from the Band, cutting it off from the resources it needed to survive.  Bollinger found an administrative loophole -- that the Band was not formally registered as a student organization within the normal budget and administrative oversight system.  The Band existed as an exception to the normal process, partially funded by an annual allotment of $10,000 from the Athletic department (mainly to offset the costs of travel to football games and basketball games), and partially by a special allocation of $15,000 from the university.  Bollinger, in retaliation for the Band's continued efforts to keep Orgo Night alive, withdrew the $15,000 of university funding from the Band.  His plan was to announce the de-funding at a time calculated to make it impossible for the Band's leadership to apply for recognition (and funding) from the usual student organization process.  That would leave the Band with less than half its normal financial resources, and at the mercy of the Athletic Department.

Step four was executed this week, when the Athletic Department withdrew its funding from the Band -- based on the pretext that the group was not an officially recognized student activity group.  Of course, the Band was never an officially recognized student activity group, which never caused the Athletic Department from providing funding and support in the past.  But now, as part of Bollinger's evil plan, the Athletic Department cut the cord, and banned the CUMB from performing at football games or any other athletic event.  The Band's halftime shows during football games often tested the boundaries of tasteful humor, and its chants from the stands sometimes offended older alumni.  The pep and spirit provided by the choruses of "Roar, Lion, Roar!" and other music during games was something that Bollinger could do without if it meant finally ridding him of the annoyance that the Band represented.

And so the Band is dead.  Murdered by Bollinger and Valentini.  Cut down and drained of funding, deprived of permission to perform, and threatened with sanctions if they formed an unapproved, unofficial pep group and tried to play music at future sports events.  They anticipated that the Band's inherent enthusiasm and school spirit would prompt them to work around the restrictions, and tried to cut them off in advance.

Generations of Columbians have memories of their college years filled with images and sounds of the Band playing in the gym, at Baker Field, and in the college reading room during Orgo Night.  Hundreds of loyal, money-donating members of the band alumni association will now shun homecoming and never donate a penny again to the school.  Columbia will be the only Ivy school without a marching band.

Bollinger thinks that he has accomplished a goal.  He will no longer be embarrassed by the the antics of "that zoo fraternity" that was the CUMB.  He is probably correct that the Band's current students will not build a float on the body of an old car and drive the "Deathmobile" onto the football field in order to disrupt the homecoming game and embarrass Bollinger.  They are not deadbeats who don't care about whether they get expelled.  They are high-achievers who would not jeopardize their futures in order to give a metaphoric middle finger to President Bollinger.

Perhaps members of the band alumni association will find an appropriate way to protest.  Perhaps even more alumni will withhold donations and let Bollinger know that his vicious murder of the CUMB has left a permanent scar on his legacy and on Columbia.  Many are now in mourning.  The next step will be to seek justice, and retribution on the murderer.  There is no justification.  There is no bigger picture.  There is only loss, and sadness, and anger.

Get angry.  Let President Bollinger know how angry you are. [President Lee Bollinger (212-854-9970, bollinger@columbia.edu)]  Then, we'll need to figure out how to rebuild -- how to resuscitate the CUMB.  Like the monster in a horror film, the Band will not stay dead.  Its bullet-riddled hulk will rise from the grave and haunt Bollinger for the rest of his days as President, which are now likely numbered.  He will eventually rue the day that he decided that killing the Band should be his legacy as President.  The Band will not die quietly, and alumni who love and appreciate the Band will not allow Bollinger's murder to be the Band's last chorus.